What do Pamela Anderson’s ex-husband, a Los Angeles street gang, a trans-European smuggling plot and 64 acres of sugar cane have in common?
They all became inextricably linked with Will Nett, that’s what, as he tangled with Balinese customs officials, almost died in the Australian Outback and foiled his own kidnapping at the hands of Fijian furniture salesmen during his chaotic year-long excuse for a holiday.
Will’s scarcely believable follow up to My Only Boro will have you hoping you never find yourself sitting next to him on a plane. Or a bus. Or anywhere…
…And if you’re planning a round-the-world gap year trip in the near future, whatever you do, don’t let your mum read this book.
- You cannot add "The Antiques Jokeshow by Roy Chubby Brown & George Proudman" to the basket because the product is out of stock.
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What do Pamela Anderson’s ex-husband, a Los Angeles street gang, a trans-European smuggling plot and 64 acres of sugar cane have in common?
They all became inextricably linked with Will Nett, that’s what, as he tangled with Balinese customs officials, almost died in the Australian Outback and foiled his own kidnapping at the hands of Fijian furniture salesmen during his chaotic year-long excuse for a holiday.
Will’s scarcely believable follow up to My Only Boro will have you hoping you never find yourself sitting next to him on a plane. Or a bus. Or anywhere…
…And if you’re planning a round-the-world gap year trip in the near future, whatever you do, don’t let your mum read this book.
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Disturbing Bedtime Tales is an anthology that takes the medium of the fairytale and fable to new dimensions of dark and twisted, comedic surrealism.
Dark and twisted, comedic surrealism. From the story of Brasnips The Pisswitch who terrorises a village by slashing on it's vegetable yield, to the fable of The Chronic Arsestronaut, the first sexist man in outer space. These fragmented parables will leave you wide eyed and wondering if there really is a God.
The Liar The Witch & The Wardrobe, The Angels Of The Garden Shed and Wee Willy Knicker Sniffer are the cautionary tales the Brothers Grimm nearly wrote but thought better of it, and the ideas Hans Christian Andersen dismissed as the onset of madness.
Enjoy. And unpleasant dreams.
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Thinking of writing a book? It’s not all chat shows, award ceremonies and copious amounts of booze – except for the copious amounts of booze. Join My Only Boro author Will Nett as he deals with his stratospheric new-found success – he was on local radio, y’know – and embarks upon ‘difficult second book phase’. Stuck for new subject matter, and holding down a series of menial jobs in order to collect new material, he becomes embroiled in a peculiar world of yo-yo dieting, backyard boxing bouts, and religious cults. It’s a wonder he has time for punch-ups on the streets of Paris, upsetting Eurovision song contest winners, and arranging a parking space for potential Prime Ministers… but could he turn any of it into a book? Paperback, 152 pages, RRP £9.99 ISBN 978-1-912218-37-0 Published by Sixth Element Publishing, June 2018
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My Only Boro is not just about Middlesbrough Football Club, it’s not just a history book about the town and it’s not just a social commentary on a town once described as the worst place to live in Britain – it’s all this and more. “A must read for Boro fans, memories of the good old days that we long to return to, and all you non-footy fans will love it as well. It’s witty and fun to read, a real blast from the past.” Bernie Slaven, Boro Legend Paperback, 176 pages, RRP £8.99 ISBN 978-1-908299-22-2 Published by Sixth Element Publishing, December 2011
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Poor old Albumen Strunk. Not only does he have a nasty case of dental malpractice hanging over his head, he’s also just been killed in a terrible car accident. And what’s worse, he then finds his very confused, and supposedly dead self, chucked out of the local pub to be sent marching across a muddy moor toward a meeting that will change his after-life forever.
Soon Albumen is spinning wildly through a heady mix of drinking contests, grumpy celestial beings, strange old men, dwarves, amnesia and a race against time to save existence itself!
Will the universe live to tell the tale? Not bloody likely!
Screw, God And The Universe is certainly a divisive tome... this is what the reviewers said:
"grotesque and fairly hard to follow..."
"If you like Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett you've got to read this book. Very entertaining!"
"So strange and out there it kind of fell flat for me."
"...one star!"
"A fantastic read with more twists and turns than a twisty turny thing. Reading it again for the 3rd time."
"I can typically handle a fairly substantial amount of not knowing what the hell is going on in a book, but this crossed my threshold and then some."
Read it and make up your own mind! Hey, it's free anyway!
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The brand new book from Roy Chubby Brown & George Proudman. How many times do you hear someone say, “aye, the old jokes are the best,” or “there’s nothing like an old joke.” Well, here’s a book load of them, together with a handful of tall stories. Now, don’t you be complaining ‘cos I’m sure you’ve said it yourself. Anyway look on the bright side, if you found it funny the first time then you should laugh at it again. On the other hand, you might not have got it when you heard it the first time, so, on the other hand… oh, that’s three hands, isn’t it? Well, on the other bollock, you might just think the joke’s a load of shit and not funny at all. You see, you can’t please all of the people all of the time… by there aren’t half some miserable bastards out there. Paperback, 190 pages, RRP £9.99 ISBN 978-1-912218-12-7 Published by Sixth Element Publishing, November 2017
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Crime has a new enemy… and it never saw him coming. When Robert Jones awoke with yet another monster hangover in his house in Teesside, he could never have imagined that within just a few hours his life would change forever. Kidnappings, the murderous attentions of a midget set on revenge and the world’s largest bank heist are just the beginning. But, the pandemonium all around, Rob is oblivious, his focus fixed firmly on his blossoming relationship with an extremely seductive vacuum cleaner. However, there’s one small problem, Rob is a robot and he’s missing a vital component. The Boro Phallacy is a frenetic, fast-paced and funny crime thriller told through the eyes of two unlikely heroes whose love of Crocodile Dundee knows no bounds. Paperback, 276 pages, RRP £9.99 ISBN 978-1-908299-94-9 Published by Sixth Element Publishing, September 2016
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Meet Brinsley Kitten. He's a drunk. He's a coward. And he eats too much Battenberg cake.
He's also a blabbermouth and usually said blabberings are harmless… but not this time. Oh no. This time danger beckons.
Someone has been listening, you see. Someone who needs a capable man for a perilous mission. Someone who thinks Brinsley Kitten is just that man. Someone who couldn't be more wrong.
Sadly the someone is not to know that and before our Brinsley can even finish his gin and ginger beer, he's whisked off to rescue an ancient race of space creatures from a terrible fate. Not to mention there's also a planet to be saved from a savage totalitarian regime.
Thus Brinsley is soon blubbing his way through a mind-bending adventure of psychedelic drugs, slugs, wheelchair-bound madmen, drunken brawls, planetary destruction and psychotic space pirates. Oh and let’s not forget the Battenberg cake... that’s very important!
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Once “the face of Tyne Tees Television”, Paul Frost is now an old git. Of course this hasn’t always been the case. He’s been a teenage git, a young married git and a middle aged git. In chronological order he has been a farmhand, supermarket shelf stacker (sauces and pickles), shop assistant, debt collector, barman, doorman, student, newspaper journalist and columnist, BBC radio and TV presenter, ITN reporter, after dinner speaker, pilot, corporate film producer and director. This is his first and probably last attempt at getting anything published. He’d rather have a lie down. Where’s Me Glasses? is a humorous and rambling tome from a grumpy old git who still has the ability to laugh at life and all around him. Paperback, 124 pages, RRP £9.99 ISBN 978-1-908299-30-7 Published by Sixth Element Publishing, October 2012
